Pythian Games

          I had had to find some way to entice the little cretin into my parlor.  I had waited for the right sign, the right opportunity.  And there it was, an obsession with baked sweet potatoes, right in front of my eyes.

I had to figure out all the other details as well.  There was that pesky detail of getting rid of the body.  I wasn’t actually certain I could do that all on my own, but I knew someone who could help.  Bonnie.  She was always so good with those things.

          So I made a phone call, set up some hypothetical questions and got some interesting answers.  Bonnie also put forth several questions of her own, which led me to believe she might be needing some help of her own at some point.  I’ll have to let you know if that turns up anything at some point.

          Next I had to gather my materials.  Not actually as easy as it sounds.  I had to first locate the appropriate place in which to carry out my so-called dastardly deed.  I personally think I am a very civic-minded person and I was just doing my duty by getting rid of that horrible pest.  In our city, it was very unusual to find an abandoned building that has been abandoned.  Usually squatters took them over.  Heck, I can understand their point of view and everything, but right then, I just wanted them to move along and be gone.  It took me nearly a month to find one, one so dirty and broken-down that not even the homeless would look at it twice.  And it was in a terrible part of town, where even the dealers were afraid to be out for too long lest they be carried off and done away with in some manner.  The good thing about this place is no one sees nothing, never.  So when I started bringing in the bits and pieces I needed to construct my plan, no one saw a thing, nor remarked upon it in any way.  I was merely another shadow, meant to be ignored.

          Then I had to order the fish.  Can you believe it?  A huge town like this and no one had piranha to sell me.  It was another three weeks before the fish got here from this guy in Texas who sells them on ebay.  Only one of them was dead when that shipment got to me.  Why, if he shipped them same day delivery, and I paid another $300 extra to expedite everything, did it take the jerk three weeks to get me my fish?  I guess we won’t know that this time around.  But if this trick pays off, I may be paying him a visit real soon myself.

          Now, I had to go find the venomous twerp.  She was known to frequent a certain café, with this rough looking hulk of a boy.  He must have been her age, of course, but he looks like he was fed steroids his whole life.  Sheesh.  I had to get rid of him too.  But that was fine.  Any friend of hers definitely deserved to die.  My day came, my day to shine, when I saw them walking, him a step or two out of sync behind her.  I bebopped up to them, ignoring his warning growl when I got too close for my own good.

          I smiled, that gap-toothed grin my mother had always told me was just so darned cute.  ‘Hi, Shari.’ I chirped, as if I was one of the brainless masses who worshipped her.  She just eye-balled me maliciously, while her incredible hulking dolt simply cracked his big fat fingers one by one.  I didn’t wait for my cue, because I didn’t think there’d be one.  “I am having a party at my club house,’ I so deftly informed her, schmoozing innocence and charm, ‘and I wanted to know if you and your friend here would like to come.’  I batted my eyelashes sensually at the brute; my sister had always told me guys went for that like fish to a worm on a hook, whatever that meant.  Knuckles stopped cracking and he almost smiled at me.  I kept my focus on her evil highness though.  I am good.  ‘I know you love sweet potatoes, so my sister made a big batch in the oven this morning.  Just for you.’

          Her majesty had not yet spoken.  I was starting to sweat then.  I didn’t think she was going to fall for it.  Then all of a sudden, wham, she bit, and bit hard.  She was going down.  ‘Ok.’ Shari all but snapped.  ‘We were going to go out for a movie, but this sounds like fun.’  She looked me up and down, her eyes harsh and critical.  ‘Take us there now.’

          Those idiots followed me over to Brooke Street, with not a warning thought in their heads.  They stepped over the trash, through the boarded-up door.  They followed me right in.  They never knew what hit them.  The silenced nine mil took them both out.  I even felt sorry for the big lout.  It wasn’t really his fault he was so stupid, but I couldn’t leave him lying around to get me into any trouble.  So, he got shot.  Three in the chest.  Two in the head.  Not one problem there.

          Her I took my time with though.  How could I resist?  She had been the bane of my existence for so long now.  I tapped her twice in the chest, just enough to let her bleed.  She screamed.  Oh ye gods, did she scream.  But no one cared, least of all me.  On a street where gunfire was more common than children’s laughter, no one even looked up from what they were doing.  It didn’t take her long to see that either.  She didn’t completely shut up.  She blubbered.  She begged.  She pleaded.  She finally shut up after the last round hit her bulldog’s head.  Then those insane blue eyes tracked my every movement, never flinching, even when I brought out those yummy sweet potatoes, covered with melted butter and a hint of brown sugar, the way I knew she liked them. 

          I made her eat four of them, smearing it all over her tidy round face.  I took handfuls of it, rubbed it in her hair, all over her trendy new store-bought clothes.  I made sure to poke as much as I could down into those bullet holes too.  I didn’t bother to tie her up.  I shot out both her knees the second she started to try to get away.  Then I had to reload.  Switching out the clips was not all that hard, I tell you.  I felt so good, so strong, as I dragged that craven harridan by the hair over to what I had dubbed the pool of madness.  I had spent so much time throwing all my mad into the thing, it seemed a fitting name.  It was full of my nice sweet piranha, which I had spent some time training to hate the scent and the taste of sweet potato.  I picked her up, with too much difficulty, and dumped her in.  I didn’t even stand there to watch.  I had to take care of the bodyguard too.  Him I just could not get into the pool.  I could hardly even drag him.  So, I didn’t.  I just left him there.  Dogs or something would come and carry him off.  Or not.  I didn’t care a bit.

          As the fish snacked at their leisure, after that initial feeding frenzy died down a bit, I cleaned up all my mess, making sure there was no hint of me at all anywhere.  I had been so careful.   I knew I had.

          I walked off, without even looking back.  I am telling you now, because you don’t have anywhere to go and you won’t be telling any tales, not by the time I am done with you.  It feels good to relive things like that, every now and then.

          Now, as for you…good-night.

written by Raven TK

http://ravensinthewritingdesk.wordpress.com/